Joshua Rosfield (
kingincognito) wrote2025-01-08 10:20 pm
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INVENTORY · His canon clothing. · His canon sword, The Burning Thorn. · His half of The Founder's Grasp, a pair of bracelets of which Clive possesses the twin. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this bracelet, allowing Joshua to assume the form of a small, cockatiel-sized Phoenix. · His copy of the Journal of Moss. · A photographed family portrait of his own family, in fine (but not royal) clothing and appearing happy. · A stock of medicine for his coughing, supplied by Pure Vanilla Cookie. · An ear cuff, custom made by Sesa and gifted to him by Dion. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this ear cuff, allowing Joshua to create a small ball of light similar to Dion's that fires three quick laser blasts before disappearing. · A small stolas, requested from home. Her name is Willowisp, and she coos a lot and accepts snacks. NOTE: Pure Vanilla Cookie has now linked her as Joshua's familiar. |
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Oh, of course. I completely understand. And likewise, if the two of you are to be so tied, you are also family. Though, I am already keen on doing a great deal for you.
[ The smile that he gives Luca is entirely genuine, bright and full of a brand new sort of affection. A brotherly kind, almost. Not quite the same as his affection for Clive, but... Luca makes Clive happy. How could Joshua not also be happy? ]
But, family aside, you are also my friend. One that is very dear to me, for a multitude of reasons.
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It's a little embarrassing, to be back in that state of mind. Embarrassing, but... perhaps not entirely unwelcome. Not when he knows he can trust those that he has fallen for.]
I am... glad to hear I have earned such a place with you. As a friend, I mean. I can be rather stubborn at times. And unfriendly at others.
[He offers up a sheepish smile.]
So. Thank you for sticking around. And approving of me so. The feeling is mutual.
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[ But one he isn't at all sorry for. Their father had been quite stubborn, too, according to their uncle. He laughs quietly, tilting a gentle little grin back at Luca's sheepish smile.
But then, it softens. How could it not, with a thanks like that? ]
I am glad for it. Truly. It would be quite unfortunate if I made a bad impression on my brother's sweetheart, after all.
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[He's grinning, both at the thought of being part of their family, and with the general mood overall. Things had been expectedly somber for him over the last few days. It was nice to share a laugh.
Albeit one that clams up when Joshua says that. He takes a long sip of his tea, before lowering it with a sigh.]
Beasts. It really is that serious, isn't it?
[He isn't put out by it or anything. It's just... something to marvel at.]
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[ But it's nice to see Luca in such a good mood. Particularly after all that happened. Seeing so many people succumb to the snakes in one way or another, he'd have thought that the mood would be a lot more somber and difficult to shake for everyone, but a flicker of light in the darkness is never a bad thing. He's glad for it, honestly.
Luca's question, rhetorical or not, makes Joshua's amusement soften. He finishes his own sip of tea, before lowering the mug to tap his fingers against the side. ]
That is left up to the two of you, but... I will say that the way Clive responded to your death was something I've not seen from him before.
[ Or, at least, not that he was conscious to see. But he won't go into that here. ]
But it is abundantly clear that he cares deeply for you. Enough to spend so much time in your proximity. So, if you'd like an outside opinion... yes, it does look quite serious.
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As for Joshua's concern about Luca's well being, though... It helps that he has technically died before. The only unusual part was not having the Phoenix to drag him back the second it all went dark. Luca hadn't quite made out how he felt about that, there had been little time between comforting Clive and Kiera. There was no resentment in that regard, only an unacknowledged hint of relief.
But that would be a conversation for another time. Right now, he's left to turn over the depth of his relationship with Clive in his head. To hear Joshua confirm that his reaction was unusual evokes something within Luca that he hasn't acknowledged in years.]
May I ask you something, then? So long as you do not mind my continued prattling about your brother.
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Hm? Of course. So long as you do not mind mine.
[ He has, for a long time, felt as though his brother hung the very moon in the sky. The last thing he wants is to be overbearing. Thankfully, with Luca, it doesn't seem that's the case. ]
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[The warm smile he offers should hopefully say all it needs to. He enjoys these stories, could listen to Joshua talk about Clive for hours. Or maybe he could listen to Joshua talk for hours in general. They are similar enough in mindset that it feels easy to simply stop and listen.
He almost feels bad, that they aren't talking about something else. He'll have to make a point of picking Joshua's brain outside of his brother again soon. Perhaps a game of chess.
But that's neither here nor there. Right now, Luca has something to focus in on, after all.]
Please keep in mind, I would ask my own sibling, if I didn't think they would roll their eyes. Matters of love and partnership are not in their field of interest, and so... [He lets out a nervous laugh.] Would you think me a fool for being in love with him so soon?
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But... ah. That is quite the question. Joshua hums thoughtfully, looking down at his mug, as though thoroughly inspecting the liquid within, and the tiny hint of tea leaves that somehow escaped the bag. ]
I do not think so. Not you, not with him.
[ He takes a breath, gently swirling the contents of the mug. ]
Everyone experiences love differently. For some, it comes as easily as breathing. For others, there is a weight attached, making it feel difficult or somehow unsafe to offer or accept the feeling. I do not know which you would fall under, but... it is not a foolish thing to love him so quickly. The charm that my brother possesses is different from what you might find in someone on the prowl for temporary pleasure.
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Once I would have described myself as the former. When I first arrived here, I would have said I was the latter. Now, I am unsure of where I fall.
[Still, even if he didn't need the reassurance regarding Clive's own feelings, it's nice to hear. Luca'd had his heart broken on many occasions before, intentionally or not. It's good to know that he could trust that Clive was genuine.]
I would just hate to say it and then find myself in doubt.
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He hums softly, thinking, and then turns his eyes up to Luca once more. ]
Pardon my blunt questioning, but... what is it that makes you doubt, exactly? Is something causing hesitation?
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He shifts his posture, leaning further back against the counter. His head tilts upward, locking on a speck of paint against the ceiling, as if it might have the answer.]
I suppose... it might be two-fold. I am worried what he may think of me in the long run, and what I may think of him in that same time frame.
[He shifts his position once more, hesitantly meeting Joshua's eyes.]
When I learned that my father's... passing was meaningless, I lost myself. For years, I was committed to peace and protection. I wanted to do the right thing, wherever I could. I had even left my home, because I could not stomach the violence that had been committed in my name. And yet... after that, my own thirst for vengeance could not be quenched.
I killed without care, condemning anyone with even the slightest ties to the plot that laid my father low. I lost track of how many Castillan's I incinerated. And when they weren't enough, I crossed the sea to wreak havoc on another nation. I only returned home because my quest led me there.
[He swallows hard, willing the burning in his eyes to diminish.]
When I spoke of this, Clive seemed so willing to forgive it. But would that remain true, if he knew the depths of my sin? Clive is a good man. He... surely he will realize that he deserves someone better, kinder than someone like me.
[For the time being, he lapses into silence. He's yet to even broach the subject of his other doubts, yet he's already dumped so much onto Joshua. The guilt floods in, even as he waits desperately for assurance.]
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He doesn't speak until Luca has finished saying his piece, and the silence between them has stretched just a little. But he is clearly thinking, if Luca looks to him during that stretch. ]
My brother is a good man indeed. That he has been willing to forgive this of you speaks to that. However... mm. It is not my place to speak of events that happened to him, as tangentially attached to me as they are, but...
When we were younger, Clive and I, our kingdom was attacked. Our own mother sold out her kingdom, and our father paid the price for it. In addition, Clive thought that I had died in a brutal attack. I was not able to reunite with him for eighteen years, but from what my attendants gathered in that time, he...
[ Joshua frowns hard at his tea. It isn't his place to speak of Clive's experiences. The Undying kept tabs on Clive for him for a while, after he'd awakened, but he doesn't know every minute detail. He doesn't know how Clive felt during those years. So, he shakes his head, turning to look at Luca. ]
It sounds as though his experiences may mirror your own in some ways, and it is not my place to speak of them, as I did not live them. But you should speak to him. Be plain about any worries you might have. He is a good man - but he is a good man that can make a decision for himself, and I already know that he is smitten with you.
[ And, close as they are, he can close the distance enough to place a hand on Luca's shoulder with a reassuring smile. ]
And you, too, are a good man. One's past sins do not reflect the kind of person he is today.
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And then there was the idea of being separated from his sibling. Luca can relate deeply to that, even if in his own way. He and Kiera had spent eight years apart, but at least that had been Luca's intention. He might have hated it, but it was still what he had wanted.
... Perhaps Clive might condemn him for that too.
Unfortunately, there is no way to be sure of any of those feelings. Not without talking about it to him. That conversation would probably need to happen sooner or later, if only to spare both of their hearts if they found it wouldn't work.
He just doesn't think that being smitten will be enough.
He wishes that Joshua's hand on his shoulder brought any comfort. Though he tilts his head toward the limb and offers it a faint smile, there's little light there.]
Maybe not. But I can't say I have done enough to declare myself changed yet, either.
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I know I am not Clive, but if it is any help, I do not think poorly of you for what you've just told me. And I'm sure that he wouldn't, either. We have all done things that we regret, but that makes us no less worthy of being loved.
[ Luca's shoulder gets a gentle pat, and then he removes his hand, lifting it back to cup at his mug of tea. He may not have any problems with physical affection, but he won't push it on Luca, primarily when he seems so off-kilter. ]
You do not have to take me up on this if you are not comfortable, but I would be willing to stand in as practice. But if you prefer that only Clive hears what you have to say, I understand.
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Though the pat startles Luca for a moment, he doesn't hate it. He even seems a little lost once the contact is gone. It's those old instincts, the touch starved and desperate desire to be near someone. It fades as quickly as it comes on, at the very least.]
I appreciate the offer, Joshua, but... [His smile is a little sheepish.] I would not know what else to say on this particular hesitation. You have heard it all now.
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My suggestion is still the same, then. It is only fair to the both of you that you are honest with each other from the start, so that there are no miscommunications to stumbles in the future. And he will appreciate it, too. Of that, I am certain.
[ He sets his mug on the counter, mostly drained at this point. ]
But know that, no matter the outcome, you will have my support. Our friendship is not conditional based on whether or not you are courting my brother.
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I should hope that you would remain my friend. If I recall, we knew each other before I got to know Clive.
[His tone is slightly teasing, which might come as a relief considering everything. Luca isn't so lost in his thoughts to not give a gentle little ribbing.]
I did have one other concern, should you still feel willing to advise. I know I have already asked quite a bit of you.
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We did, indeed. I'm afraid you cannot get rid of me so easily.
[ Teasing for teasing. It's nice, to be able to have this level of casual conversation. He's used to ribbing Clive, and now Dion just a little bit here and there, but expanding out to others feels... good. ]
Oh, of course. Go right ahead. I don't mind at all. What is it?
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He draws in a breath, steadying himself a touch before he continues. This one is... a bit more intimate, and he feels guilty subjecting Joshua to it. But, he needs to get it out in the open, so he stops worrying about the possibility.]
Clive is a good man. Attentive. Gentle. Warm. [Is he gushing? He's gushing.] He is every bit the man I would have fallen for in my early years. And yet...
[His hands tighten against the mug. Vivid memories flash through his mind, ones that he can't bring himself to say he hates, even if he so desperately might have wanted to.]
In my travels, there... was a man that I frequently crossed paths with. He was, without a doubt, the most infuriating wretch that I came across, and yet... he and I kept falling in with one another. It was all very, ah. Combative. Bloody. Violent.
I suppose some part of me worries that anything less might bore me now.
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Combative, bloody, and violent. ]
Well. I can't exactly say anything about... that part of things. Though, I do know that my brother is entirely capable of being, ah. Rather intense, particularly during combat.
[ He has fought alongside Clive enough to know that, at least. Whether it's just how he is, or some product of being Ifrit's Dominant, he cannot fully say. He doesn't recall Clive being so intense in their younger days, before he'd awakened as Ifrit, but he'd never fought alongside Clive back then, either. Only watched him spar in the bailey. And Clive had beaten Lord Murdoch back then, but to speak of intensity the way he sees it now... ]
I would include that in your talks, I think, if you worry it may be a concern. But you never know until you try, I suppose? Who knows, you might even surprise yourself.
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I'm sorry. This is... highly inappropriate. Especially to discuss with you.
[He knows the sinkhole issue has been resolved, and never impacted the grove proper. But man does he wish one would open up and swallow him whole. Especially when he still manages to keep talking. Not exactly about that, but it's close enough.]
I just... worry. I have seen the way he responds to gentle affection. I think he needs a kinder hand, at least time to time. And I worry I may not be good enough to offer it.
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No, it is quite all right. I understand.
[ He shifts, ignoring his set-aside mug of tea in favor of facing Luca once more. ]
I think that we all need a kinder hand from time to time. But I do think that you sell yourself short, Luca. You worry about not being "good" enough, and yet here you are, caring enough about him to come to me to ask for advice. That tells me all that I need to know. You are concerned for his well-being, much as I am, and I could not ask for more.
I believe you will do just fine - and we can work together to help him. You are... capable of reaching him in ways that I cannot.
[ To put it lightly. Ahem. ]
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His eyes are still watering when he finally looks at Joshua again. He huffs once, hopes that it'll go unnoticed, and then gives a... rather stiff nod.]
I... hope you are right. It is as I said. I only want to do right by him. I have learned just enough about him to know that he was not dealt a kind hand. And... if he so decides to be kind to me in turn, how could I ever complain.
[He cracks a smile.]
You truly did prime him well.
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My apologies.
[ But the corners of his mouth are pulled up as he says it, which makes him sound not quite as sorry as he truly is.
As soon as Luca is alright, he removes his hand, nodding. ]
Rosaria was founded upon kindness. I would be an awfully ill-fitting Archduke if I did not embody the same.
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