Joshua Rosfield (
kingincognito) wrote2025-01-08 10:20 pm
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INVENTORY · His canon clothing. · His canon sword, The Burning Thorn. · His half of The Founder's Grasp, a pair of bracelets of which Clive possesses the twin. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this bracelet, allowing Joshua to assume the form of a small, cockatiel-sized Phoenix. · His copy of the Journal of Moss. · A photographed family portrait of his own family, in fine (but not royal) clothing and appearing happy. · A stock of medicine for his coughing, supplied by Pure Vanilla Cookie. · An ear cuff, custom made by Sesa and gifted to him by Dion. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this ear cuff, allowing Joshua to create a small ball of light similar to Dion's that fires three quick laser blasts before disappearing. · A small stolas, requested from home. Her name is Willowisp, and she coos a lot and accepts snacks. NOTE: Pure Vanilla Cookie has now linked her as Joshua's familiar. |
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It has. I was able to speak to my sibling about how things have... changed.
[Which is as good of a segue as he will get, he supposes.]
After you left, when you told me what... had happened. I was devastated. I ran into the woods to express my rage. And after some time... I went home. Not truly, I do not think. But I remembered. My life continued playing out as if I had lived it truly. And I changed.
[He'll get into that soon enough, but for now, he folds his hands together and... squeezes them.]
I am telling you this not just because you are my friend, and because I want you to know how I am doing. But I also do not want you to think me so flippant about losing him. It is... confusing. Only a handful of days have passed here. I know I should feel things far heavier. But at the same time, I have experienced months. It has left me with distance between it all. Time to heal, without intending it.
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He lets his spoon settle into the bowl for a moment, frowning down at the surface of the stew thoughtfully. ]
It is... a lot to take in.
[ A lot. That Luca has more or less fast-tracked the process of grief unintentionally... Is he jealous, that Luca has had all this time to heal from it in the blink of an eye? Perhaps a little. But it is only a fleeting thought. It is good that Luca doesn't have to hurt as severely anymore. He'd been worried.
A soft breath leaves his nose in a sigh, his fingers playing with the end of the spoon. ]
I am glad that you have had the time to heal. Truly. It is a gift that should not be squandered. I admit, I had been worried, considering the two of you...
[ He shakes his head. ]
I do not find any of it flippant. You were simply afforded time to heal that the rest of us have not had. I could not possibly be angry about that.
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[He watches Joshua's movement, those fingers playing against the tip of the spoon. Luca's lips press into a thin line. He tries his best to muffle the faint wave of grief that overcomes him. Not over Clive, but for Joshua, who now suffers. What he wouldn't give, to grant that clemency to him.]
Whatever he means to me, and he does mean... so very much. But you are his brother. I can only imagine that your grief is tenfold compared to my own. It does not feel fair.
[His arms slide around himself, clawed fingers toying at his sides. He tries to avoid digging in, lest he wind up with more scars.]
Not that I am not grateful for my own experiences. What I saw... what I remembered... I have no doubt that I am in a far better position than I ever was. But I can still lament how unbalanced it feels.
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But that isn't Luca's fault. It's no one's fault but the lowly worm in the woods that fancies itself a god. And so, he can't be mad about Luca having had the opportunity to process his grief already. ]
It is not the first time that I have thought my brother lost. The pain is-- is nigh unbearable, but at least... at least it is familiar. And I at least know not to give up hope.
[ He had found Clive once. He will find him again. ]
I will be all right. I promise you, I will.
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[The smile Luca offers is a wobbly one. His mind drifts, sifting through both strange timelines that he's now lived. While many wounds feel recovered, others feel freshly opened now. It is... difficult for Luca to parse.]
I left my sibling willingly, some years ago. And though it was my choice, I was an awful mess for some time afterward. It was only because I learned of something far more troubling... [He rests his hand over his heart, remembering those days when he first learned what the Phoenix could do.] ... That I was able to shed that grief.
You had no choice. But you shoulder that burden all the same. Truly, you are an admirable man.
[Luca had given up hope so easily, so long ago. He'd only just been able to snatch it back.]
Nevertheless, if there is anything I can do for you in this time, I will gladly do so. Give anything to lend you support. Not only because of what you meant to him, but because you have always been a good friend to me.
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And then he laughs, softly, turning his head away to look back down at the stew in his bowl. ]
I do not have a choice now, but I had a choice before. Like you, I once kept my distance willingly. It may have been for his safety, but I did it all the same, and it was not an easy choice to make. Ever since I awakened, ever since I found out that he yet lived, all I wanted was to reunite with him. But I couldn't.
[ He pauses for a moment, hesitating. Biting down on his lip in thought. ]
But I had hope that I could, someday. And it is that same hope that persists even now, when I do not have a choice. If that designates me an admirable man, then... I can only hope that it inspires you into feeling that same hope.
[ He turns, glancing sidelong at Luca with a smile. ]
Thank you. Truly. You are a very kind man, Luca. And I would offer the same to you, for the very same reasons. But for right now, your company is enough support for me.
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For now, though, all Luca can do is offer a small, hesitant smile. He dips his head down after a moment. He wants to feel that hope. One day, at least. Hope that they all might be reunited. Hope that they can put right the mess within this world.
But for now, it's just a dream]
Perhaps in time. [He glances back up.] Company, at least, I can provide. Perhaps not the most positive of company, but company all the same. [He glances toward the shelf of liquor behind them.]
Perhaps a drink?
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I will not turn down company of any sort. You are more than welcome to come by the house, by the way. I'm sure that Torgal and Ambrosia would love to see you.
[ His fingers take back the spoon in his bowl, gently stirring the contents. It's had a moment to cool during their conversation, and he has to admit, he looks forward to it. ]
A drink would be wonderful, thank you. Whatever you would suggest. I trust your judgment.
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But Joshua was the one living with it. And the least Luca could do is give him a few... less than bitter memories to enjoy within his home.]
Give me a week or two, and I will do just that. [Time and grace for himself, and compassion for Joshua. Compromise at its finest.]
For now, let's try something... sweet. And bubbly. [He pulls down a sparkling moscato and pours a glass for Joshua. It's gently slid across the bar.] And if you don't like it, I will gladly find a use for it.