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INVENTORY
· His canon clothing.
· His canon sword, The Burning Thorn.
· His half of The Founder's Grasp, a pair of bracelets of which Clive possesses the twin.
    NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this bracelet, allowing Joshua to assume the form of a small,
    cockatiel-sized Phoenix.
· His copy of the Journal of Moss.
· A photographed family portrait of his own family, in fine (but not royal) clothing and
    appearing happy.
· A stock of medicine for his coughing, supplied by Pure Vanilla Cookie.
· An ear cuff, custom made by Sesa and gifted to him by Dion.
    NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this ear cuff, allowing Joshua to create a small ball of light
    similar to Dion's that fires three quick laser blasts before disappearing.
· A small stolas, requested from home. Her name is Willowisp, and she coos a lot and
    accepts snacks.
    NOTE: Pure Vanilla Cookie has now linked her as Joshua's familiar.

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[ Roasted vegetables... The only reason that Joshua doesn't wrinkle his nose is because he knows without a doubt that his brother won't include carrots in that.

But, he does sigh at the return of the sugar beet. He'll get his own sweetened tea in time. ]

Potatoes would be just fine.

[ He thinks he can manage that. Probably. ]

[ The sigh makes him smile softly, the very epitome of a satisfied big brother, and he moves to take the lead once they're on the ground floor to take his brother into the kitchen. ]

Go ahead and make your tea, first.

[ He moves around the kitchen with ease as he knows where everything is, finding the potatoes to begin cleaning them. ]

[ For all that he's been in the inn this past month, Joshua is just realizing he's never actually been to the kitchen. Due to being in an inn, it seems a little more complex than the kitchens he's used to seeing these days. He pauses, looking around. There must be a kettle somewhere... ah. ]

Would you like any?

[ He asks, as he fills the kettle with fresh water and sets it atop the flame. ]

Yes, please.

[ He knows Joshua won't add sugar or cream to his. He ponders the potatoes, trying to decide what would be easier for Joshua. He thinks he'll start his brother on baked first. ]

Can you get the oven going? Make it pretty hot, we're baking a potato.

[ Good. He filled the kettle with enough water anyway. Joshua moves to go through the cabinets, finding two cups, and then looking for the tea. Where is it... ]

Mm? Baked?

[ That's... well. He supposes that's the same as being roasted, in a way? Retrieving a tin of tea leaves, he moves back to the oven. How... does he get this going. After a little bit of exploration and pondering, he figures it out. But how hot is "pretty hot"? ]

What do we need to do?

[ That makes him grin and he moves over to join his brother, reaching around him to fiddle with the knobs too until he finds the right spot. There was a lot of trial and error before. ]

We need to let this reach the right heat. Like a forge, we can't stick the potato in while it's too cool or it won't bake right.

[ His tail sways, Clive pleased he's figured this out (ovens are neat) and sends a few bags of vegetables tumbling.

He growls. ]

I'm chopping it off and you can't stop me.

[ Ah. So that's how it works. Fascinating! Clive clearly knows what he's doing. ]

I see. And if it's too hot, it will burn?

[ It makes sense.

Though, because he's not looking, the sudden smacking and knocking over of the vegetables startles him, and his feathers ruffle up in surprise. Yes, including the downy ones peppering his hair. Founder-- He takes a moment, smoothing them down with his hands. ]

No you aren't. Because if you do, I'll have to heal you to stop the bleeding.

[ Not that he takes his brother's threat seriously, of course. ]

You will let me bleed out like I deserve.

[ He helps smooth the ruffled feathers of his brothers hair down with a soft snort, then tries to figure out a way to wind his tail around so it doesn't get in the way anymore, as he goes to begin picking vegetables up before just... sweeping them into a corner.

Don't judge him. ]

And yes. Ovens aren't really like our wood fires. They keep the heat in, which I found out means if it's too hot it will just cook everything faster.

[ Unlike fire which is burnt because you're an idiot and didn't take it away fast enough. ]

I will not. I won't--

[ "--be responsible for you dying again." That's almost what he says, but he bites it off, holding his tongue. He doesn't want to think about it.

So, instead, he stands, watching his brother sweep vegetables into the corner like a child. Clive, those are perfectly good. ]

How long does it take to bake a potato, then?

[ Joshua's tone makes Clive glance over, eyebrow arched. In time to get the look his brother gives him from him sweeping the vegetables aside. He huffs and scowls and looks away. The floor is clean they will survive there for now.

He moves back over to the Oven, careful now, and points to one of the knobs. ]

The oven will make a horrid noise akin to what we heard in the Fallens tower, then we move this knob [ he points to one ] until a one symbol appears on this spot [ indicates the hour spot of the timer ] and then hit start.

[ Words that are still very foreign to him, but he's getting used to it. He frowns a little. ]

It's quite a while, but it is a whole potato we are cooking, and if we add more potatos the time doesn't change so there is that.

[... well, he's glad that Clive understands all of... this. Joshua frowns at the oven, recalling the awful, loud buzzing sound of the alarms. An oven using Fallen mechanisms sounds a lot like something Mid would make. ]

Hit... start?

[ Do you have to actually hit it? That can't be comfortable. Surely not. ]

So, what you're saying is, we should do several potatoes at once. At least two. And we just place them inside the oven and wait?

Oh.

[ He hears his brother's confusion, offers him a smile. ]

It's just called "hit". You don't actually hit it, you just push the button with your finger.

[ Guess who DID hit it and then had to be hastily corrected so he didn't break the oven by punching it every time. ]

Right. We can have tea while it's cooking and prep some other things.

[ He moves back over to the potato he had been washing, adding another. Then holds out a fork to his brother. ]

Here, stab this into the washed one a few times.

Oh. I see.

[ Though, he can vividly imagine Clive's response to being told the same. Clive would hit it, without hesitation.

Joshua glances at the kettle. He still can't pick up the sound of the water boiling yet, so they should have time to work on the potatoes.

He is not expecting to be handed a fork, though. He frowns at it, lifting the washed potato with his other hand. ]

Ah... All right.

[ He isn't sure why, exactly. But it isn't easy, as he finds out a moment later. The fork tends to get stuck in the potato. Thankfully, his strength boon keeps his arm from getting too tired, but goodness. ]

What does this do?

[ And he did. With only slight hesitation to confirm they said hit it.

And his brothers obvious confusion makes him grin as he scrubs the other potato down, watching from the corner of his eye as he goes about stabbing the potato with the fork. ]

It let's the potato vent air, otherwise it quite acts like a blocked engine on Mids ship.

[ He stops washing to briefly flick his fingers open with a boom noise. Joshua knows very well how Clive knows. Done washing the other potato, he holds it carefully in his right hand to stab it repeatedly with another fork. ]

Plus, it's a great anger outlet?

[ Ah. Clive doesn't need to do much more than visualize it - he can understand that very well. Even if it sounds a bit terrifying. ]

Well, we wouldn't want exploding potatoes.

[ He says it with a soft laugh, continuing to stab the potato with the fork. It is fairly stress-relieving, now that Clive says it... ]

Did you learn all of this while... you know.

[ You know.

Clive is silent for a moment, simply aerating his potato before setting it aside once it's sufficiently poked. Then he leans back against the counter, before grunting and turning a bit to the side. Ifrits spikes are a pain in the ass.

He nods gently, arms going across his chest as he ponders the distance as they wait for the oven to heat. ]

Though I was treated better than most, being a fighter they couldn't afford to lose, we were often left to fend for ourselves. They called it good practice. Hunt an animal, find some root vegetables, then cook them or starve. After so often of unseasoned meat and under-cooked vegetables, we got creative.

[ He's only vaguely aware of what happened in the time that he slept and recovered, before he joined the Undying on the search into what happened that night. He knows that Clive had been branded as a Bearer, conscripted - to put it kindly - into the Imperial army... and he knows how Bearers are treated. It likely isn't an easy period of time to talk about, so he doesn't press it when Clive doesn't respond right away. He's perfectly content to let it go.

But then, Clive does, and his heart wrenches. Learning to cook under duress... Founder, he'd hoped that it had come about as a hobby at the Hideaway, not this. ]

... I'm... sorry, that you had to go through that. Would that I could have done something...

[ But there was no easy way for him to do it. That Clive managed to escape it all was his biggest relief. ]

[ He shakes his head again and offers his brother a little smile. ]

Don't. It's in the past and it can't be changed. I've come to terms with a lot of the nightmares it's caused. Besides, I have you again, and the most painful part of those years was knowing I had killed you and being unable to accept it.

[ Even after he had, the worst pain was being without his brother, who is now standing here with him, learning how to cook potatoes. So he refuses to dwell on the pain of what was, and focused on the what will be. ]

[ ... right. That's right. Clive is right - the past is in the past. There was little that could be done at the time, and nothing that can be done now. It is their reality.

So, Joshua nods, takes in a breath. ]

And the most painful part for me was finally knowing that you had survived, but being unable to be near you for those eight long years.

[ He returns Clive's smile with a soft one of his own. Ever since he'd awakened, he'd had the Undying searching. The distance had pained him so. ]

[ Though he understands why his brother kept himself hidden, there is a small part of him that feels hurt by it, and he rubs his hand against his arm. Glances away a little, studying their drying potatoes. ]

I wish you had told me.

[ At any point during those thirteen years, where he went mad with grief, filled with fire and revenge, hated himself, and contemplated taking his life. To have even the tiniest hint his brother may have survived, the hope it would have given him. The strength. ]

Or the Undying. Or anyone.

[ ... ah. The gesture is hard to ignore, though. The way that his brother looks away. The tone of his words. Joshua's smile wanes, and he turns his head, looking at the flames that lick the bottom of the kettle like they hold the answers to how things could have been easier for them both. ]

I'm... sorry.

[ He knows he's already apologized for this. Likely more than necessary. But all the same... ]

When I awakened, I did everything that I could to track you down. To find out what really happened that night. It took me five years before I even found out that you were still alive, and I... Oh, how I wanted to run to you, but I couldn't. It was risky enough as it was - Garuda's Dominant still managed to capture myself and Jote, as careful as we were trying to be.

Don't- No. I didn't mean to-

[ So it was them at the Caer Norvent. He had thought so, after learning his brother was alive, but they had never spoken about it. He pushes away from the counter to reach out, grip his brother's shoulder gently, squeeze it. ]

I'm sorry. I know you couldn't. I didn't mean to accuse you.

[ He lifts his hand to rest it on Joshua's head instead, between his horns, lightly petting the soft mixture of feather and hair. ]

I have you now, and that's all that matters. Tell me of your time with the Un-

[ The spikes on his tail flare aggressively to the oven deciding to buzz at that moment, the sound brief but loud and obnoxious. ]

Founder I hate that. As I was saying, tell me of your time with the Undying while we put these potatoes in?

[ He steps back to open the Oven door, then hand his brother an oven mitt. They're not immune to fire like this, after all. ]

[ As Clive pushes away from the counter, Joshua turns his attention back to him, expression shifting from withdrawn to mild surprise. The hand on his shoulder is so gentle, though, that it melts away any reservation. ]

I-- I know you didn't. I'm sorry.

[ He has to stop apologizing. It's getting him nowhere. Joshua takes a deep breath, turning his eyes back to his brother's, and smiles.

And then promptly startles at the buzz, his wings flinging out behind him as the mugs he'd found go clattering to the floor. ]

Oh, Founder.

[ At the exact same time that Clive says it, in fact. But it makes him laugh, and he shakes his head, taking the oven mitt as he tucks his wings back in and smooths his feathers out. ]

Of course. Do we just rest the potatoes inside, then?

[ He will never get over his brother's laugh, it's adorable. Whether it's the hidden in his hand one or this one. Startled and real.

He hopes those mugs are all right.

He smiles and nods, handing his brother a potato. And he doesn't bother putting on a mitt himself. The best thing about a stone hand. He just balances the potato in it. ]

We could also place it on a platter but it's best on the rack. Let's the heat cook it evenly.

[ Carefully, so he doesn't touch his bare skin to the rake, he uses his stone fingers to pull it out a bit and then plops the potato onto it. And gestures for Joshua to do the same. And you best put your mitten on, SIR. ]

[ He is putting the mitt on! He isn't about to try sticking his hand in a hot oven unprotected. He takes his own potato, watching as Clive places his, then following suit and trying to be so careful with the exposed parts of his arm. No burns today, thank you.

With the potato deposited, Joshua removes the mitt, sets it down, then looks about for the mugs. ]

As for my time with the Undying... I was in a comatose state for the first five years I was in their care. But they took care of me diligently, and when I finally awoke, they assisted me in returning to full strength. Even that took around three years or so, but I spent the time studying and practicing with the sword that Father gifted me.

[ Ah, there they are. No worse for wear, it seems - though one seems to have a small chip in the rim, and he honestly can't remember if it was there before or not. ]

But the moment I was awake, I had them searching for you. Searching for clues as to the other Dominant of Fire. I didn't discover that you were still alive until I was twenty. Didn't discover the first clue about Ultima until I was twenty-two.

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this is gay

#rosfields

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cw: suicide ideation

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