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[Reluctant though he is to lose the pressure of Joshua's hand, he finds that it's more than welcome against his face. What little tension had formed in the process of his speech quickly settles as well, eased away by that gentleness. He glances up at the man through the fan of his lashes, still as stricken as ever by Joshua's presence.]

Part of me wishes to say that I do not deserve you. [He turns his head to kiss Joshua's palm, before offering a crooked grin.] But I know that were I to truly mean it, you would scold me for hours.

[Once more, he closes his eyes, relaxing in their embrace. His arms shift, draping instead across Joshua's shoulders. It's a loose grip, one that can easily be shifted away from, even if Dion hopes to Greagor herself that he'll stay.]

[ Joshua laughs at that gentle kiss to his palm, a soft, warm sound that bubbles from his lips and puffs over Dion's from proximity alone. ]

I would, indeed. For I cannot bear to stand by and watch someone speak cruelly about the man that I love. Not even himself.

[ There is... a dusting of pink that blooms over his cheeks as he says it. Even during Dion's confession, neither of them had said that word about the other. It is a risk, but it is one that Joshua will gladly take.

Dion shifts, and Joshua doesn't pull away. For all the times he has hugged Dion, why would he now? Rather than stay where he is, he shifts a little himself, hands dropping as his arms loop around, palms splaying across Dion's shoulder blades as he returns the embrace even more firmly than it is given.

He takes a deep breath, and tries the words on again. ]

I love you, Dion. And I will ensure that you know how much you are loved, if you will have it.

[The man that I love. Dion is not so wrapped in the moment that he misses those words. They hit him hard, a levinbolt straight to the chest. The feeling sizzles out to the very tips of his fingers and his toes, almost painful. All at once, Dion feels both wounded and winded.

He must have misheard. Or perhaps it was an accident, words not meant to be said. Dion tries to draw himself back together. He's grown adept at picking up the pieces and quickly reassembling them.

The moment he tries, though, Joshua doubles down. There was no mistake. He loves Dion. Despite his flaws, his atrocities, his misgivings, this man of resplendent warmth has chosen Dion. He shouldn't be so surprised, considering they'd only just chosen to commit themselves to one another, but courting was far less than... this.

He searches his mind, trying to remember the last time he'd heard such words. He'd fought tooth and nail to wrench them from his father's lips, but he can't recall such a time. It would have been before Olivier, perhaps even before Anabella. Or had they ever come at all?

He's been silent for far too long, and knows that it will only concern Joshua all the more. He has to assuage his doubts, to explain that everything is fine, please don't worry. But when he opens his mouth, something wedges itself in his throat. Worse still, he feels a horrific prickling within his eyes.

He doesn't understand. He presses his mouth closed once more, mirroring the way his eyes slip shut. Once again, he tries to reassemble those pieces. When he tries again, the lids of his eyes still firmly squeezed closed, he can only manage a whisper.]

Thank you.

[ For a long moment, as Dion remains silent, Joshua wonders if, perhaps, he has said a bit too much a bit too fast. They only just agreed to courting, after all. Despite Joshua's feelings that have built over time, perhaps... Perhaps Dion needed more time than this.

But just before he moves to pull back, lips already parting to apologize, Dion speaks. And the tightness in that whisper, the pain so clear in two breathed out words, stops his apology in its tracks.

Instantly, he understands. Maybe not entirely, but he does. For he knows half of the household Dion has likely lived with for the last eighteen years, because that half of it was part of his own. For all that his mother doted on him, he had been nothing but a trophy to tout around, and she never once uttered those words to him. It would have been worse for Dion, he thinks - Dion was not of her bloodline. And that is to say nothing of what Joshua still has yet to learn about him.

His heart aches for Dion, for the pain so evident in his heart, and rather than pull away, he holds the man tighter. Tucks his nose against the side of Dion's head, as though he can single-handedly smother out the shade that haunts him. ]

You are welcome. Forever and always.

[ He will say it however many times Dion needs to hear it, whenever that happens to be. ]

[Joshua isn't wrong. He does need more time. But it isn't because he feels any less for the man before him. There is simply a weighty part of Dion's own mind that doubts he truly knows what love is. Logically, he knows this can't possibly be the case. Ten years of commitment to a single man was surely evidence enough of that. Yet throughout that time, Dion had been been under the thumb of another, who leveraged that same love for ill.

The depth of that damage is still truly unknown to him. Perhaps if he ever bothered to visit the young blue boy again, and partake in his so-called "therapy," he'd be able to break through it all. But that's for future him to worry about.

Thankfully, he does not feel judged or less than within Joshua's embrace. He closes his eyes, sinking further into those arms. He lets himself be small for the space of a few breaths, allows the emotion to rock through him for a few moments longer. It hurts. He hurts. But he doesn't try to swallow it down immediately.

Progress.

Eventually, he lifts his head, meeting Joshua's eyes. His own still shimmer faintly with tears he hasn't quite been able to blink away. He's allowed himself some vulnerability, but to openly weep would be a step too far. For now, at least.]

Know that my feelings for you are vast and deep. I... may not yet have the words for it, but I do not begrudge you your own. They are... more appreciated than I may ever be able to vocalize.

[ The fact that Dion does not pull away as he tightens his hold soothes Joshua's heart, just a little. The man in his arms is still suffering from a pain that he only vaguely understands, but if his presence helps to ease that pain, he will sit here as long as Dion needs him to.

And when Dion finally pulls back, when he can see the shimmer of tears in those eyes, his heart nearly breaks. Granted, they have not known each other well for very long, but he has never seen Dion in such a vulnerable state. His expression softens, nearly looking a hint pained himself, and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to Dion's cheek. ]

Then I shall make certain you know it. Daily, should you want it.

[ Because while Dion clearly needs the reminder, he doesn't want to be overbearing with it. Joshua lets his hands slide down, to take both of Dion's and wind their fingers together, palm to palm. His lips curve into a gentle smile, and he lets out a soft, adoring sigh through his nose. ]

I do not doubt the depth of your feelings for me - I can see it plain as day in your eyes. You need not say a word if you cannot find them. I can feel them regardless.

[If Dion has one single regret, it has that his own emotional turmoil has spilled over into Joshua. So full of empathy as he is, it's far from a surprise that the other man embodies his grief. The last thing Dion wants is for Joshua to shoulder that burden, though. Not that he dares to vocalize it, when he knows such words would be met with reproach.

To Joshua, he was not a burden. And one day, he would embrace that, just as he might one day embrace the word he cannot yet wrap his mind around.]

So long as you do not doubt it... [His fingers tighten against Joshua's, a quick squeeze to draw them together. He still feels unsteady, and yet he can feel balance returning. The support will not heal everything, perhaps not even anything. But it will help Dion find his way to his own healing.]

And... I do not think I would mind hearing it so often.

I do not. Not a single bit.

[ Just to reiterate it. Joshua does not doubt Dion's feelings, just as he does not regret a single thing that has happened today. But if it is difficult for Dion to say so, he will simply wait patiently to hear it. Even if that day never comes in the end.

He returns the squeeze to his hand, settling back into his own space. But the smile that he gives Dion is a radiant one. How could it not be, while in the presence of someone so dear to him? ]

Then, it will be done.

[ He will make sure of it. ]

To ease your mind from complications, while we await the boiling of the water - I would hear of your favorites, of your hobbies and interests. You already have me at a disadvantage, after all.

[Any lingering doubt is burned away by the warmth from Joshua's smile. How could he ever lament, when faced with such a sunny disposition. Joshua so effortlessly seemed to draw the darkness of Dion's soul out and cast it away. He suspects that it's a blessing and a boon of Joshua's own making. Even without the Phoenix to guide him, he would still be this radiant.]

Thank you, Joshua. For everything.

[If his words seem stiff, it's only because of the weight of the emotion that Joshua manages to invoke within him. He counts himself so terribly lucky for it, and yet he nearly finds himself crippled by the gratitude.

Thankfully, Joshua sees fit to change the subject. Not that it's particularly easier, mind you. It's been so long since he's allowed himself to indulge in the very things that made him happy.]

I quite enjoyed my studies in my youth. Not just because of how I felt it would help my father, either. There was much to be found in those pages outside of my own walls. [A pause. His mind travels back, thinking of Harpocrates. A memory of purple dislodges itself, and Dion finds himself growing thoughtful.]

I think... I also would not mind taking up gardening, either.

[ The words may be stiff, but Joshua pays no mind to it. Dion seems to be processing things, so it makes sense that his thoughts are a little scattered and not secured. Dion's hand gets a gentle squeeze in return. ]

Always.

[ Because it is a promise he knows he can keep. So long as he draws breath, he will remind Dion of his kindness, of his capacity to be loved.

But Dion moves along with the subject change, and Joshua's smile shifts to one of excitement. Hearing that Dion, too, enjoyed studying is quite the intriguing tidbit of information. ]

As did I. My health kept me indoors, so I turned to books and studies. It was so exciting to learn about places that felt so far away.

[ And without the Phoenix, he may not have grown to see any of them. He'd always heard the whispers - that he wasn't long for this world - so he has no doubts that the Phoenix's regenerative powers kept him from succumbing to childhood illnesses.

The mention of gardening makes him perk, though. A result of their planting just now, or...? ]

If Ydalir was able to give you seeds for treasure flowers, I'm certain that she could give us others. Wyvern tails, perhaps? Should you want them, of course.

[Likewise, Dion finds himself smiling through any other residual emotion. It doesn't surprise him that Joshua was a bookish boy — that much had been clear at the Remembrance Ceremony. And considering everything else that had followed, of course he would need to be well-read to stay ahead of whatever machinations Ultima had been up to.]

Indeed. Long though I knew I would one day be out in the world, I knew the context would not be the same. [His fond expression falters.] The cliffs of Ash, and the hills of storm would always be marred by war when I came upon them. It was nice to understand them as they were.

[Joshua has the right idea when it comes to Dion's fondness for planting. He averts his gaze, finding his fingers briefly tightening against Joshua's own before relaxing once more.]

I know that Wyvern Tails have cursed a great many. Their poison is a vicious one. But surely it may yet have its uses. And I suspect the savage cruelty of the woods will lend itself well to their natural beauty.

[The last thing he wants is the pristine, sanitized white of the Sanbrequois variant.]

[ Ah. Yes. Dion, unlike himself, was a soldier. He had learned the art of the sword, of course - but only after Phoenix Gate, after the Undying had helped him to train for self-defense. He can fight, but he is no fighter. Not in the same way Dion is. ]

My journey did not take me as far as Ash, not until I had reunited with Clive, but... I understand. It is something to read about how lush and vibrant a land is, only to see it in person years later, scarred by war and the Blight.

[ He can only hope that, if Clive's Wish came true, the land can heal. It could heal from war on its own, eventually, but not the Blight. That much has been proven. ]

Admittedly, it makes me wonder if their poison might be strong enough to damage that false thing in the forest. [ He frowns, softly, down at their joined hands. ] I do not doubt they would grow well here, but... if we might use them for good...

I only ever saw Ash from a vessel, but my presence was never particularly celebrated, even upon the seas.

[He exhales, shaking his head. It had been different then. He had chomped at the bit to be released upon Odin. A fight only meant the loss of foot soldiers in his eyes, nothing to truly shed a tear over. Surely they would have been happy to be lost in the crossfire of Bahamut's light.

Now, ever loss of life was embittering. Whatever man his father was shaping him to become, he did not want to be. Lucky, then, that he'd been set upon a different path.]

It is an effort I would not mind exploring. Better that we finally do good with the poison, than the ill that has been done to so many before.

[And isn't that just his standpoint overall, now.]

[ Oh? Joshua nearly asks, but the way that Dion shakes his head makes him refrain. It clearly isn't something that he wants to talk about, so he won't press the issue. Perhaps it will come up naturally one day, whatever it is. ]

Well, I, for one, am glad to see you every time that we meet. Even when you are shirking your healer's requests.

[ There's a soft, gentle glimmer of amusement in his eyes at that, and he squeezes Dion's hands, ensuring the man that he is only teasing. But only for that moment. Going back to the topic of the poison, he sobers, expression growing more serious. ]

If I could, I would inflict a dose of poison on that creature for each Branded that suffered it. Even then, it might not be enough... But we must try.

[ He nods, firmly, as if his plan is not to be argued with. But seconds later, his lips pull into a thin smile, as though he's thought of something impossibly funny. ]

And we will grow each Wyvern Tail with the same love we've afforded the treasure flowers. The false god will hate it.

And you, for one, happen to be biased.

[He speaks with a quirk of his lips, clearly already shaking whatever shadowy thoughts had pressed into his mind. He leans forward instead, stealing a kiss before any of his thoughts can creep back in.

And before the moment shifts to darker things, of course. His sigh is a heavy one, worn down by the weight of the suffering that had occurred beneath his own banner. He knows that bearers were not exactly living well across all of Valisthea, but he doubted they suffered as much as they did in Sanbreque.]

We must try. [At least he can agree on that. He has not had the displeasure of confronting the god, but he's sure it's only a matter of time. And when he does, he will be ready and armed.

Not just with his weapons, or perhaps even Bahamut, if he finds himself willing. But as Joshua says, he will have love as well.]

All the more reason to work on our garden, then.

[ Oh. Stolen kisses are his favorite kisses, he thinks. Or at least are solidly tied for first with the warm, lingering ones. Joshua laughs softly, a breathy noise, and steals one of his own in return. ]

I may be.

[ He doesn't want to stay too long on darker topics, though, but this... this is something important. A plan to work into something that they both find pleasurable. They can work toward something both for fun and for a hopeful victory.

One day, he will tell Dion of what happened that day in the temple. But it is still too fresh, too painful. It still haunts his nightmares far too vividly for his liking. But for now, he removes one hand from Dion's, lifting it to brush some hair away from Dion's face. ]

I'm sorry for taking our conversation to such a dark place. No more of that tonight. Shall we check the water?

[Dion is quick to shake his head. Dion had been a willing participant in the conversation. Arguably, he had been the one to take it to this place. Wyvern Tails were hardly a pleasant topic for anyone.]

You need not apologize, though I would be glad to avoid it as well.

[For now, he stands, then quickly motions for Joshua to stay seated. Dion has been the one to treat Joshua thus far, and he has no plans for that to change in the meanwhile. He navigates to the kettle, which just barely begins to whistle by the time he arrives. He pours the water into the waiting cups, then folds the tea bags in carefully.]

I understand that some take their tea with sugar or cream, now. Do you want any?

[ That Dion also wants to avoid it is a good thing, Joshua thinks. There is much that he could tell Dion of what that thing in the woods is capable of, but he won't. Not today. Not on such a happy day.

So, he nods as Dion indicates he remain seated, his now empty hands resting loosely on his knees. It is nice to be doted on... though he will find a way to repay it in kind later. ]

Oh, yes, please. Both, if you have them on hand.

[ Of course he has them on hand, Joshua, he just offered them. He pulls in a breath, laughing softly at himself. ]

Have you tried it? I'm rather fond of it.

[Dion purses his lips, hands settling on his hips as he opens a few cabinets. He pulls down some sugar, but alas, no cream for poor Joshua. He gives an apologetic look, before opening the sugar up. Only a slight scoop for himself, and...

Three for Joshua? That seems about right.]

I would need to run to the kitchens for the cream. I do not mind the journey, if you do not mind the wait.

[Their tea needs to steep, after all. And it isn't as if Dion wouldn't run halfway across the Grove to bring Joshua something small.]

I do enjoy the slightest hint of sweetness, but the cream... [He shakes his head.] I find it mutes the natural flavor.

[ Watching Dion search the cabinets is... so oddly domestic. It's different, and not in a bad way. Cute, actually, particularly the way his hands rest on his hips. Joshua thinks that he could get used to seeing more of this. Dion getting a chance to be a person, not a symbol or a pawn. ]

Oh, it's all right. I don't mind not having it. But if you truly want to, I won't stop you.

[ His smile is back to warm and radiant, one knee now crossed over the other, his arms folded and bracing on his thighs. ]

There is a way to maintain the flavor of the tea while still enjoying the cream. You just have to use two bags. It strengthens the flavor of the tea that way.

[ This, from the man who was nearly taken out by one single cup of coffee. ]

[For a long moment, Dion regards Joshua. It's clear he's weighing his options, as if they both don't already know what he's going to pick. Let's be honest, it's probably just an excuse to stare at him. His thoughts are not dissimilar to Joshua's own — there's something to be said about the relaxed way he's able to sit in this moment. He deserves more of those.

Right, that settles it then. Dion turns back to the mugs, puts another bag each in, then dips back over to Joshua.]

I trust you will mind yourself while I am away?

[A kiss is pressed to his forehead before Dion steps toward the door, then slips out. Maybe it's time he can use to clear his head. He's thinking too many gay, domestic thoughts right now.]

[ Joshua can't help the flutter he feels from Dion watching him the way he is. It's a considering sort of look, he thinks, but all the same, he feels like he would be comfortable sitting here like this all day, lost in taking each other in.

But Dion adds another bag to each mug, and Joshua knows what decision he's come to. He laughs softly, leaning up into that gentle kiss to his forehead. ]

Of course. I will be on my best behavior.

[ A broad smile, as Dion heads for the door. And as he departs the room, Joshua watches until the door latches closed, and then... takes in a deep breath, untangling his sitting position so that he can sprawl back on the bed, pressing his hands to his face as though doing so will hold in the already barely-contained glee. Behind his fingers is the widest grin he's ever been able to muster, or at least that's what it feels like. ]

[He probably should have known that the walk would do precious little to cool his roiling emotions. The entire way down, he can think only of the warmth of Joshua's smile, or the way his smile bleeds into his eyes. He barely notices if anyone else is in the kitchen. He barely remembers that he's here for something, and has to force himself to pull down a second mug to hold the cream. Better to not have to come running back to put the carton away.

And of course, on the way back, he finds himself lost in the thought of how Joshua feels. From each stolen kiss, to the softness of his skin, and of course how those strands of hair feel between Dion's fingers.

It shouldn't be any wonder that Dion inevitably stumbles in, faintly flushed. His eyes seek out Joshua almost desperately, a man dehydrated and stumbling into an oasis when he needs it most.

Fellas, is it gay - ]

I - have the cream.

[He quickly comes back into himself, realizing what a fool he looks, and turns away from Joshua once more. He hurries over to their waiting mugs and pours the cream in each — just a little less for himself, so Joshua can have all the more.]

[ Joshua, for the most part, has behaved himself while Dion has been away. His brief bout of giddiness had been enough to stem the flow, at least, and after getting it out of his system, he had sat up to take inventory of both the room and himself. Taking a moment to memorize the view from Dion's window, the minute details of a room being lived in.

And then, he'd realized that in laying back on the bed, the feathers of his wings had become incredibly ruffled. So, he set to curling them around him, fingers carding through to smooth them out, to remove any loosened ones.

And as Dion stumbles through the door, that's exactly how he finds Joshua - seated on the edge of his bed, fingers running deeply through his feathers, straightening them and smoothing them into something a bit more carefully groomed. But Dion's entrance makes him look up, and he smiles. Which turns a bit lopsided as he takes in the vague pinkness in his cheeks. What is that about? ]

I do hope you didn't rush yourself in returning.

[ But his voice is soft, warm, fond. If he did, Joshua couldn't blame him for it. He would have, too, if their positions were the other way around. ]

[Oh, that sight about knocks him on his ass. The wings themselves are beautiful, but the sight of Joshua carefully smoothing them out? It makes Dion's heart absolutely ache. The tips of his fingers itch with the urge to join him, to be the one administering such gentle care.

Instead, he turns away once more, carefully collecting their mugs. He holds out Joshua's own with a lopsided smile, trying to avoid staring at his wings.]

Would it be so terrible, if I did?

[He settles down beside Joshua and sips his tea. It probably hasn't had quite enough time to steep but... it doesn't taste terrible, even like this. The second bag was a good suggestion.]

After longing for you so long, how could I stand to be away?

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