Joshua Rosfield (
kingincognito) wrote2025-01-08 10:20 pm
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INVENTORY · His canon clothing. · His canon sword, The Burning Thorn. · His half of The Founder's Grasp, a pair of bracelets of which Clive possesses the twin. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this bracelet, allowing Joshua to assume the form of a small, cockatiel-sized Phoenix. · His copy of the Journal of Moss. · A photographed family portrait of his own family, in fine (but not royal) clothing and appearing happy. · A stock of medicine for his coughing, supplied by Pure Vanilla Cookie. · An ear cuff, custom made by Sesa and gifted to him by Dion. NOTE: Ydalir has enchanted this ear cuff, allowing Joshua to create a small ball of light similar to Dion's that fires three quick laser blasts before disappearing. · A small stolas, requested from home. Her name is Willowisp, and she coos a lot and accepts snacks. NOTE: Pure Vanilla Cookie has now linked her as Joshua's familiar. |
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Not that their current position is much better. He can all but taste Joshua in their air with their current position. Close as they are, he doesn't hesitate to tip his head forward and steal a second kiss the second Joshua stops talking, before meeting his eyes once more.]
As if you yourself do not possess the same quality. [Another kiss. He can barely contain himself.]
We are only a decade or so off, and there are plenty of alcoves in the grove, should you desire. [He shifts to brush their noses together. It's a sickeningly sweet gesture, and he simply can't help himself.] I would do anything that you asked of me, I hope you know.
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Instead, he steals kisses of his own. When Dion is not, when Dion finishes speaking. He lets his eyes slip closed once more, smiling against his partner's lips. ]
And I, you. It seems we are in agreement.
[ His lips curl up into a smile so wide, it bares part of his teeth. His fingers stroke through Dion's hair, as if the man before him were something fragile and precious. ]
But I should very much like to keep kissing you. [ Which he does, briefly, almost breathless. ] You are a very difficult man to resist.
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I suggest you check the mirror, my dear. I can barely keep myself contained. [A breath of a laugh escapes them, careful to avoid being so loud in their shared space.] But have tea to enjoy in just a few moments, don't we?
[He glances toward the kitchenette, but it's nowhere near done yet. They would surely hear it if it was.]
And then we must take the time to sip it properly. I imagine it would make for quite the mess if we became distracted.
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That it would.
[ Quite the mess, indeed. He returns each errant kiss with one of his own - though not before soaking in the affection - and lets his hand slip down from Dion's side to his knee. His intentions are innocent, at least - he does not want to take anything too quickly, but Founder, does he want to immerse himself in Dion's presence nonetheless. ]
And to that end, I propose a solution. Until such time as the water comes to a boil, [ because, like Dion, he knows it will still be a bit ] we shall strive to divest ourselves of our distraction. What say you, Your Highness?
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Divest ourselves - [A nod.] Yes, that seems wise.
[Notably, he does not shy away from Joshua's touch. He doesn't even try to shift his head away. In fact, after a glance down at Joshua's lips, he finds himself once again strongly weighing the urge to steal a kiss.
Instead, a sigh leaves him.]
It may be more difficult a task than I expected, though.
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Though, Dion sighing instead of stealing another kiss makes him pause, pulling back just a hair to look into his eyes. ]
Perhaps. But a valiant effort is better than none at all.
[ Joshua smiles, warm and inviting. The hand at Dion's cheek shifts, so that he can rub his thumb against the line of his cheekbone, a fond and loving affection. ]
Though, I do not want to overstep in my excitement. If you would truly prefer to stop for the time being, I will do as you wish.
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I enjoy this, make no mistake. [Dion closes his eyes and lets out a faint sigh.] But I would be remiss if I rushed things any further forward. I want to savor every moment I have with you, bit by bit.
[His eyes open, but settle upon where Joshua's hand has come to rest. Even as he leans into the touch against his face, his own hand shifts to lay upon the other man's. It's a soft assurance that no matter what, he isn't upset.]
It would be a truly great injustice, were I to devour you whole. No, I will savor you bit by bit, for as long as I can.
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You are truly a chivalrous man, Dion Lesage.
[ He tilts his head once more, as if he were going to steal another kiss. Instead, he presses their foreheads together, the hand at Dion's knee lifting to match it's twin in cupping the other side of Dion's face. ]
Do know that I am content to simply kiss you. When I spoke of divesting ourselves, that is all that I meant. Like you, I should like to indulge myself slowly, so that I may enjoy every moment with you.
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Part of me wishes to say that I do not deserve you. [He turns his head to kiss Joshua's palm, before offering a crooked grin.] But I know that were I to truly mean it, you would scold me for hours.
[Once more, he closes his eyes, relaxing in their embrace. His arms shift, draping instead across Joshua's shoulders. It's a loose grip, one that can easily be shifted away from, even if Dion hopes to Greagor herself that he'll stay.]
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I would, indeed. For I cannot bear to stand by and watch someone speak cruelly about the man that I love. Not even himself.
[ There is... a dusting of pink that blooms over his cheeks as he says it. Even during Dion's confession, neither of them had said that word about the other. It is a risk, but it is one that Joshua will gladly take.
Dion shifts, and Joshua doesn't pull away. For all the times he has hugged Dion, why would he now? Rather than stay where he is, he shifts a little himself, hands dropping as his arms loop around, palms splaying across Dion's shoulder blades as he returns the embrace even more firmly than it is given.
He takes a deep breath, and tries the words on again. ]
I love you, Dion. And I will ensure that you know how much you are loved, if you will have it.
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He must have misheard. Or perhaps it was an accident, words not meant to be said. Dion tries to draw himself back together. He's grown adept at picking up the pieces and quickly reassembling them.
The moment he tries, though, Joshua doubles down. There was no mistake. He loves Dion. Despite his flaws, his atrocities, his misgivings, this man of resplendent warmth has chosen Dion. He shouldn't be so surprised, considering they'd only just chosen to commit themselves to one another, but courting was far less than... this.
He searches his mind, trying to remember the last time he'd heard such words. He'd fought tooth and nail to wrench them from his father's lips, but he can't recall such a time. It would have been before Olivier, perhaps even before Anabella. Or had they ever come at all?
He's been silent for far too long, and knows that it will only concern Joshua all the more. He has to assuage his doubts, to explain that everything is fine, please don't worry. But when he opens his mouth, something wedges itself in his throat. Worse still, he feels a horrific prickling within his eyes.
He doesn't understand. He presses his mouth closed once more, mirroring the way his eyes slip shut. Once again, he tries to reassemble those pieces. When he tries again, the lids of his eyes still firmly squeezed closed, he can only manage a whisper.]
Thank you.
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But just before he moves to pull back, lips already parting to apologize, Dion speaks. And the tightness in that whisper, the pain so clear in two breathed out words, stops his apology in its tracks.
Instantly, he understands. Maybe not entirely, but he does. For he knows half of the household Dion has likely lived with for the last eighteen years, because that half of it was part of his own. For all that his mother doted on him, he had been nothing but a trophy to tout around, and she never once uttered those words to him. It would have been worse for Dion, he thinks - Dion was not of her bloodline. And that is to say nothing of what Joshua still has yet to learn about him.
His heart aches for Dion, for the pain so evident in his heart, and rather than pull away, he holds the man tighter. Tucks his nose against the side of Dion's head, as though he can single-handedly smother out the shade that haunts him. ]
You are welcome. Forever and always.
[ He will say it however many times Dion needs to hear it, whenever that happens to be. ]
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The depth of that damage is still truly unknown to him. Perhaps if he ever bothered to visit the young blue boy again, and partake in his so-called "therapy," he'd be able to break through it all. But that's for future him to worry about.
Thankfully, he does not feel judged or less than within Joshua's embrace. He closes his eyes, sinking further into those arms. He lets himself be small for the space of a few breaths, allows the emotion to rock through him for a few moments longer. It hurts. He hurts. But he doesn't try to swallow it down immediately.
Progress.
Eventually, he lifts his head, meeting Joshua's eyes. His own still shimmer faintly with tears he hasn't quite been able to blink away. He's allowed himself some vulnerability, but to openly weep would be a step too far. For now, at least.]
Know that my feelings for you are vast and deep. I... may not yet have the words for it, but I do not begrudge you your own. They are... more appreciated than I may ever be able to vocalize.
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And when Dion finally pulls back, when he can see the shimmer of tears in those eyes, his heart nearly breaks. Granted, they have not known each other well for very long, but he has never seen Dion in such a vulnerable state. His expression softens, nearly looking a hint pained himself, and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to Dion's cheek. ]
Then I shall make certain you know it. Daily, should you want it.
[ Because while Dion clearly needs the reminder, he doesn't want to be overbearing with it. Joshua lets his hands slide down, to take both of Dion's and wind their fingers together, palm to palm. His lips curve into a gentle smile, and he lets out a soft, adoring sigh through his nose. ]
I do not doubt the depth of your feelings for me - I can see it plain as day in your eyes. You need not say a word if you cannot find them. I can feel them regardless.
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To Joshua, he was not a burden. And one day, he would embrace that, just as he might one day embrace the word he cannot yet wrap his mind around.]
So long as you do not doubt it... [His fingers tighten against Joshua's, a quick squeeze to draw them together. He still feels unsteady, and yet he can feel balance returning. The support will not heal everything, perhaps not even anything. But it will help Dion find his way to his own healing.]
And... I do not think I would mind hearing it so often.
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[ Just to reiterate it. Joshua does not doubt Dion's feelings, just as he does not regret a single thing that has happened today. But if it is difficult for Dion to say so, he will simply wait patiently to hear it. Even if that day never comes in the end.
He returns the squeeze to his hand, settling back into his own space. But the smile that he gives Dion is a radiant one. How could it not be, while in the presence of someone so dear to him? ]
Then, it will be done.
[ He will make sure of it. ]
To ease your mind from complications, while we await the boiling of the water - I would hear of your favorites, of your hobbies and interests. You already have me at a disadvantage, after all.
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Thank you, Joshua. For everything.
[If his words seem stiff, it's only because of the weight of the emotion that Joshua manages to invoke within him. He counts himself so terribly lucky for it, and yet he nearly finds himself crippled by the gratitude.
Thankfully, Joshua sees fit to change the subject. Not that it's particularly easier, mind you. It's been so long since he's allowed himself to indulge in the very things that made him happy.]
I quite enjoyed my studies in my youth. Not just because of how I felt it would help my father, either. There was much to be found in those pages outside of my own walls. [A pause. His mind travels back, thinking of Harpocrates. A memory of purple dislodges itself, and Dion finds himself growing thoughtful.]
I think... I also would not mind taking up gardening, either.
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Always.
[ Because it is a promise he knows he can keep. So long as he draws breath, he will remind Dion of his kindness, of his capacity to be loved.
But Dion moves along with the subject change, and Joshua's smile shifts to one of excitement. Hearing that Dion, too, enjoyed studying is quite the intriguing tidbit of information. ]
As did I. My health kept me indoors, so I turned to books and studies. It was so exciting to learn about places that felt so far away.
[ And without the Phoenix, he may not have grown to see any of them. He'd always heard the whispers - that he wasn't long for this world - so he has no doubts that the Phoenix's regenerative powers kept him from succumbing to childhood illnesses.
The mention of gardening makes him perk, though. A result of their planting just now, or...? ]
If Ydalir was able to give you seeds for treasure flowers, I'm certain that she could give us others. Wyvern tails, perhaps? Should you want them, of course.
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Indeed. Long though I knew I would one day be out in the world, I knew the context would not be the same. [His fond expression falters.] The cliffs of Ash, and the hills of storm would always be marred by war when I came upon them. It was nice to understand them as they were.
[Joshua has the right idea when it comes to Dion's fondness for planting. He averts his gaze, finding his fingers briefly tightening against Joshua's own before relaxing once more.]
I know that Wyvern Tails have cursed a great many. Their poison is a vicious one. But surely it may yet have its uses. And I suspect the savage cruelty of the woods will lend itself well to their natural beauty.
[The last thing he wants is the pristine, sanitized white of the Sanbrequois variant.]
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My journey did not take me as far as Ash, not until I had reunited with Clive, but... I understand. It is something to read about how lush and vibrant a land is, only to see it in person years later, scarred by war and the Blight.
[ He can only hope that, if Clive's Wish came true, the land can heal. It could heal from war on its own, eventually, but not the Blight. That much has been proven. ]
Admittedly, it makes me wonder if their poison might be strong enough to damage that false thing in the forest. [ He frowns, softly, down at their joined hands. ] I do not doubt they would grow well here, but... if we might use them for good...
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[He exhales, shaking his head. It had been different then. He had chomped at the bit to be released upon Odin. A fight only meant the loss of foot soldiers in his eyes, nothing to truly shed a tear over. Surely they would have been happy to be lost in the crossfire of Bahamut's light.
Now, ever loss of life was embittering. Whatever man his father was shaping him to become, he did not want to be. Lucky, then, that he'd been set upon a different path.]
It is an effort I would not mind exploring. Better that we finally do good with the poison, than the ill that has been done to so many before.
[And isn't that just his standpoint overall, now.]
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Well, I, for one, am glad to see you every time that we meet. Even when you are shirking your healer's requests.
[ There's a soft, gentle glimmer of amusement in his eyes at that, and he squeezes Dion's hands, ensuring the man that he is only teasing. But only for that moment. Going back to the topic of the poison, he sobers, expression growing more serious. ]
If I could, I would inflict a dose of poison on that creature for each Branded that suffered it. Even then, it might not be enough... But we must try.
[ He nods, firmly, as if his plan is not to be argued with. But seconds later, his lips pull into a thin smile, as though he's thought of something impossibly funny. ]
And we will grow each Wyvern Tail with the same love we've afforded the treasure flowers. The false god will hate it.
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[He speaks with a quirk of his lips, clearly already shaking whatever shadowy thoughts had pressed into his mind. He leans forward instead, stealing a kiss before any of his thoughts can creep back in.
And before the moment shifts to darker things, of course. His sigh is a heavy one, worn down by the weight of the suffering that had occurred beneath his own banner. He knows that bearers were not exactly living well across all of Valisthea, but he doubted they suffered as much as they did in Sanbreque.]
We must try. [At least he can agree on that. He has not had the displeasure of confronting the god, but he's sure it's only a matter of time. And when he does, he will be ready and armed.
Not just with his weapons, or perhaps even Bahamut, if he finds himself willing. But as Joshua says, he will have love as well.]
All the more reason to work on our garden, then.
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I may be.
[ He doesn't want to stay too long on darker topics, though, but this... this is something important. A plan to work into something that they both find pleasurable. They can work toward something both for fun and for a hopeful victory.
One day, he will tell Dion of what happened that day in the temple. But it is still too fresh, too painful. It still haunts his nightmares far too vividly for his liking. But for now, he removes one hand from Dion's, lifting it to brush some hair away from Dion's face. ]
I'm sorry for taking our conversation to such a dark place. No more of that tonight. Shall we check the water?
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You need not apologize, though I would be glad to avoid it as well.
[For now, he stands, then quickly motions for Joshua to stay seated. Dion has been the one to treat Joshua thus far, and he has no plans for that to change in the meanwhile. He navigates to the kettle, which just barely begins to whistle by the time he arrives. He pours the water into the waiting cups, then folds the tea bags in carefully.]
I understand that some take their tea with sugar or cream, now. Do you want any?
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