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[It's hard to say if Dion realizes what a treacherous crossroads he finds himself at. No longer did they need to hide behind the teasing excuse of decency and appearances. They were both grown men, ones who had mutually agreed to whatever such a relationship might entail. The only thing really holding them back was the threat of the kettle's steam inevitably interrupting whatever they got up to.

But such thoughts are as far from Dion's mind as they could possibly be. Right now, he thinks only of the radiance in Joshua's smile. He returns the gesture from only a scant few moments prior, pushing stray hair behind Joshua's ear. It's become such a familiar, comforting gesture, the act of reaching out and caring for him. Dion's already grown so used to it.]

I admit that I am at a lost. I find myself... terribly distracted by what's before me, and cannot form a single thought.

[It isn't a lie. He tries to think forward, but finds himself drawn back by the gravity of Joshua's gaze. In the end, it's instinct alone that wins out, his body naturally leaning forward as he's pulled into the orbit of Joshua's person. He hesitates for only a second, giving Joshua his own chance to pull back. Failing that, though, he steals a quick and chaste kiss.]

[ The feeling of Dion's fingers pushing his hair back behind his ear brings to mind the sensation that had awakened him little over a week ago, when he had fallen asleep at Dion's bedside, and the realization softens his smile considerably. Clive had been right, of course - Dion had truly cared for him even then. Just how long has he...? Joshua had seen his kind heart even back at the rememberance ceremony all those years ago, but what of Dion?

Not that it matters, not right now. He has Dion, and Dion has him. ]

Not a single one?

[ It's a soft, amused murmuring that borders on a laugh, partially because they are already close, but also because they are leaning notably closer. It's difficult to fight the pull, and so Joshua finds it's easier to just not fight it at all. Dion is kind enough to give him a moment to pull back, but he remains right where he is.

And once Dion brushes their lips together, a sweet and chaste thing, Joshua is more inclined to make it less fleeting. Chasing down Dion's lips, he presses in once more, a tiny bit more firmly, a little bit more experimental. They are in the privacy of an inn room - they have the time and the space to let themselves go, if they should so choose. ]

[This is... new.

Not in the grand scheme of things, perhaps — Dion is far from inexperienced. But Joshua himself is foreign to Dion. He's a breath of fresh air, a force of warmth and radiance, but he's still brand new. He doesn't know what might yet make the man tick, or what preferences he may have. If he's honest, he doesn't know that Joshua knows that. And for a brief moment, he finds that it breaks his brain. He's almost hesitant to move forward, to tread new ground and ruin the experience.

But if there's one thing he's confident in, it's that Joshua will tell him what he needs. After reminding himself of that much, he allows himself to reach out. One hand settles against Joshua's hip, while the other lays at the center of his chest. The reminder that Joshua is no longer marred by Ultima proves to be a pleasant reminder.

The other, meanwhile, settles at first on Joshua's hip. Dion decides better after just a moment, allowing it to slide around to the small of his back. He pulls ever so slightly, coaxing Joshua that much closer to him, before allowing his fingers to instead massage through the fabric there.]

[ Oh. Hands are new. Joshua hadn't considered what to do with his hands, only what to do with his lips. But if Dion is moving his, perhaps he should do more than keep his own on his knees. His hands lift in kind, though one of his moves to press against Dion's side, the other shifting to cup his cheek and thread fingertips into his hair.

Dion's hand briefly at his hip makes his skin break out in a wave of goosebumps for reasons Joshua only vaguely understands, but most of the response is hidden beneath clothing. When the hand moves instead to his back, urging him to shift closer, he is all too happy to indulge. He moves, just until his thigh presses flush to Dion's, sighing gently into the kiss before pulling back just enough to breathe but still staying in range enough that their lips brush as he speaks. ]

By the Founder, Dion, you are intoxicating.

[ He truly is. He cannot bring himself to part from the prince, wanting to stay as close as possible and let their breaths mingle. He huffs a soft laugh, opening his eyes to look into Dion's. ]

You make me feel like a child again. As though I could close my eyes and imagine that we were but lovestruck teenagers slipping off into a darkened alcove.

[ Perhaps they could have been, in a time that didn't happen. He thinks that he would have liked that. ]

[Even that slightest bit of increased contact threatens to drive Dion wild. Something slightly more electric courses through him, and he has to thank Greagor herself that Joshua pulls back when he does. He has a feeling Clive would have his head if things went so far, so fast.

Not that their current position is much better. He can all but taste Joshua in their air with their current position. Close as they are, he doesn't hesitate to tip his head forward and steal a second kiss the second Joshua stops talking, before meeting his eyes once more.]

As if you yourself do not possess the same quality. [Another kiss. He can barely contain himself.]

We are only a decade or so off, and there are plenty of alcoves in the grove, should you desire. [He shifts to brush their noses together. It's a sickeningly sweet gesture, and he simply can't help himself.] I would do anything that you asked of me, I hope you know.

[ Just seeing that even Dion can't fully hold off from stealing more kisses makes Joshua's heart skip a beat, his pulse firm beneath Dion's fingers. They are both under the same spell, then. Caught up so much in the other that they cannot separate themselves. The excitement is near enough to make him laugh, but he only just barely holds back.

Instead, he steals kisses of his own. When Dion is not, when Dion finishes speaking. He lets his eyes slip closed once more, smiling against his partner's lips. ]

And I, you. It seems we are in agreement.

[ His lips curl up into a smile so wide, it bares part of his teeth. His fingers stroke through Dion's hair, as if the man before him were something fragile and precious. ]

But I should very much like to keep kissing you. [ Which he does, briefly, almost breathless. ] You are a very difficult man to resist.

[Dion very obviously agrees, seeing as how he doesn't even wait for Joshua to stop speaking before he's laying kisses down again. He presses them to Joshua's cheeks, the tip of his nose, his forehead, all before returning to his lips once he's finished speaking.]

I suggest you check the mirror, my dear. I can barely keep myself contained. [A breath of a laugh escapes them, careful to avoid being so loud in their shared space.] But have tea to enjoy in just a few moments, don't we?

[He glances toward the kitchenette, but it's nowhere near done yet. They would surely hear it if it was.]

And then we must take the time to sip it properly. I imagine it would make for quite the mess if we became distracted.

[ Joshua could honestly sit like this all day, tea be damned. Tea is pleasant, particularly in good company, but now it feels as though the tea was simply a clever ruse to confine themselves in Dion's room. Not that he really thought of it otherwise, but he at least has to possess some veneer of propriety. ]

That it would.

[ Quite the mess, indeed. He returns each errant kiss with one of his own - though not before soaking in the affection - and lets his hand slip down from Dion's side to his knee. His intentions are innocent, at least - he does not want to take anything too quickly, but Founder, does he want to immerse himself in Dion's presence nonetheless. ]

And to that end, I propose a solution. Until such time as the water comes to a boil, [ because, like Dion, he knows it will still be a bit ] we shall strive to divest ourselves of our distraction. What say you, Your Highness?

[Joshua is speaking, but Dion isn't processing his words. From the moment his hand touches Dion's knee, a jolt shoots through him, forceful enough to make him twitch. He exhales sharply, swallows once, and quickly tries to tune back into the conversation.]

Divest ourselves - [A nod.] Yes, that seems wise.

[Notably, he does not shy away from Joshua's touch. He doesn't even try to shift his head away. In fact, after a glance down at Joshua's lips, he finds himself once again strongly weighing the urge to steal a kiss.

Instead, a sigh leaves him.]

It may be more difficult a task than I expected, though.

[ That twitch certainly is notable, but... Dion also isn't pulling away from him. Even so, after a moment, Joshua wonders if perhaps he's being too bold, briefly considering removing his hand entirely. But he doesn't. Not for right now.

Though, Dion sighing instead of stealing another kiss makes him pause, pulling back just a hair to look into his eyes. ]

Perhaps. But a valiant effort is better than none at all.

[ Joshua smiles, warm and inviting. The hand at Dion's cheek shifts, so that he can rub his thumb against the line of his cheekbone, a fond and loving affection. ]

Though, I do not want to overstep in my excitement. If you would truly prefer to stop for the time being, I will do as you wish.

No. [His tone is almost forceful for all its urgency. He meets Joshua's eyes, gaze intense but still warm at its core. The last thing he wants is for Joshua to pull back, not after how long he's waited. While it was true that he was hesitant to push any further forward, to draw back was a most undesirable outcome.]

I enjoy this, make no mistake. [Dion closes his eyes and lets out a faint sigh.] But I would be remiss if I rushed things any further forward. I want to savor every moment I have with you, bit by bit.

[His eyes open, but settle upon where Joshua's hand has come to rest. Even as he leans into the touch against his face, his own hand shifts to lay upon the other man's. It's a soft assurance that no matter what, he isn't upset.]

It would be a truly great injustice, were I to devour you whole. No, I will savor you bit by bit, for as long as I can.

[ Oh. The realization of exactly why Dion hesitates washes over Joshua like a pleasantly warm ray of sunlight. He hadn't been upset over the hesitation, of course, but knowing the reason now makes his affection all the stronger. ]

You are truly a chivalrous man, Dion Lesage.

[ He tilts his head once more, as if he were going to steal another kiss. Instead, he presses their foreheads together, the hand at Dion's knee lifting to match it's twin in cupping the other side of Dion's face. ]

Do know that I am content to simply kiss you. When I spoke of divesting ourselves, that is all that I meant. Like you, I should like to indulge myself slowly, so that I may enjoy every moment with you.

[Reluctant though he is to lose the pressure of Joshua's hand, he finds that it's more than welcome against his face. What little tension had formed in the process of his speech quickly settles as well, eased away by that gentleness. He glances up at the man through the fan of his lashes, still as stricken as ever by Joshua's presence.]

Part of me wishes to say that I do not deserve you. [He turns his head to kiss Joshua's palm, before offering a crooked grin.] But I know that were I to truly mean it, you would scold me for hours.

[Once more, he closes his eyes, relaxing in their embrace. His arms shift, draping instead across Joshua's shoulders. It's a loose grip, one that can easily be shifted away from, even if Dion hopes to Greagor herself that he'll stay.]

[ Joshua laughs at that gentle kiss to his palm, a soft, warm sound that bubbles from his lips and puffs over Dion's from proximity alone. ]

I would, indeed. For I cannot bear to stand by and watch someone speak cruelly about the man that I love. Not even himself.

[ There is... a dusting of pink that blooms over his cheeks as he says it. Even during Dion's confession, neither of them had said that word about the other. It is a risk, but it is one that Joshua will gladly take.

Dion shifts, and Joshua doesn't pull away. For all the times he has hugged Dion, why would he now? Rather than stay where he is, he shifts a little himself, hands dropping as his arms loop around, palms splaying across Dion's shoulder blades as he returns the embrace even more firmly than it is given.

He takes a deep breath, and tries the words on again. ]

I love you, Dion. And I will ensure that you know how much you are loved, if you will have it.

[The man that I love. Dion is not so wrapped in the moment that he misses those words. They hit him hard, a levinbolt straight to the chest. The feeling sizzles out to the very tips of his fingers and his toes, almost painful. All at once, Dion feels both wounded and winded.

He must have misheard. Or perhaps it was an accident, words not meant to be said. Dion tries to draw himself back together. He's grown adept at picking up the pieces and quickly reassembling them.

The moment he tries, though, Joshua doubles down. There was no mistake. He loves Dion. Despite his flaws, his atrocities, his misgivings, this man of resplendent warmth has chosen Dion. He shouldn't be so surprised, considering they'd only just chosen to commit themselves to one another, but courting was far less than... this.

He searches his mind, trying to remember the last time he'd heard such words. He'd fought tooth and nail to wrench them from his father's lips, but he can't recall such a time. It would have been before Olivier, perhaps even before Anabella. Or had they ever come at all?

He's been silent for far too long, and knows that it will only concern Joshua all the more. He has to assuage his doubts, to explain that everything is fine, please don't worry. But when he opens his mouth, something wedges itself in his throat. Worse still, he feels a horrific prickling within his eyes.

He doesn't understand. He presses his mouth closed once more, mirroring the way his eyes slip shut. Once again, he tries to reassemble those pieces. When he tries again, the lids of his eyes still firmly squeezed closed, he can only manage a whisper.]

Thank you.

[ For a long moment, as Dion remains silent, Joshua wonders if, perhaps, he has said a bit too much a bit too fast. They only just agreed to courting, after all. Despite Joshua's feelings that have built over time, perhaps... Perhaps Dion needed more time than this.

But just before he moves to pull back, lips already parting to apologize, Dion speaks. And the tightness in that whisper, the pain so clear in two breathed out words, stops his apology in its tracks.

Instantly, he understands. Maybe not entirely, but he does. For he knows half of the household Dion has likely lived with for the last eighteen years, because that half of it was part of his own. For all that his mother doted on him, he had been nothing but a trophy to tout around, and she never once uttered those words to him. It would have been worse for Dion, he thinks - Dion was not of her bloodline. And that is to say nothing of what Joshua still has yet to learn about him.

His heart aches for Dion, for the pain so evident in his heart, and rather than pull away, he holds the man tighter. Tucks his nose against the side of Dion's head, as though he can single-handedly smother out the shade that haunts him. ]

You are welcome. Forever and always.

[ He will say it however many times Dion needs to hear it, whenever that happens to be. ]

[Joshua isn't wrong. He does need more time. But it isn't because he feels any less for the man before him. There is simply a weighty part of Dion's own mind that doubts he truly knows what love is. Logically, he knows this can't possibly be the case. Ten years of commitment to a single man was surely evidence enough of that. Yet throughout that time, Dion had been been under the thumb of another, who leveraged that same love for ill.

The depth of that damage is still truly unknown to him. Perhaps if he ever bothered to visit the young blue boy again, and partake in his so-called "therapy," he'd be able to break through it all. But that's for future him to worry about.

Thankfully, he does not feel judged or less than within Joshua's embrace. He closes his eyes, sinking further into those arms. He lets himself be small for the space of a few breaths, allows the emotion to rock through him for a few moments longer. It hurts. He hurts. But he doesn't try to swallow it down immediately.

Progress.

Eventually, he lifts his head, meeting Joshua's eyes. His own still shimmer faintly with tears he hasn't quite been able to blink away. He's allowed himself some vulnerability, but to openly weep would be a step too far. For now, at least.]

Know that my feelings for you are vast and deep. I... may not yet have the words for it, but I do not begrudge you your own. They are... more appreciated than I may ever be able to vocalize.

[ The fact that Dion does not pull away as he tightens his hold soothes Joshua's heart, just a little. The man in his arms is still suffering from a pain that he only vaguely understands, but if his presence helps to ease that pain, he will sit here as long as Dion needs him to.

And when Dion finally pulls back, when he can see the shimmer of tears in those eyes, his heart nearly breaks. Granted, they have not known each other well for very long, but he has never seen Dion in such a vulnerable state. His expression softens, nearly looking a hint pained himself, and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to Dion's cheek. ]

Then I shall make certain you know it. Daily, should you want it.

[ Because while Dion clearly needs the reminder, he doesn't want to be overbearing with it. Joshua lets his hands slide down, to take both of Dion's and wind their fingers together, palm to palm. His lips curve into a gentle smile, and he lets out a soft, adoring sigh through his nose. ]

I do not doubt the depth of your feelings for me - I can see it plain as day in your eyes. You need not say a word if you cannot find them. I can feel them regardless.

[If Dion has one single regret, it has that his own emotional turmoil has spilled over into Joshua. So full of empathy as he is, it's far from a surprise that the other man embodies his grief. The last thing Dion wants is for Joshua to shoulder that burden, though. Not that he dares to vocalize it, when he knows such words would be met with reproach.

To Joshua, he was not a burden. And one day, he would embrace that, just as he might one day embrace the word he cannot yet wrap his mind around.]

So long as you do not doubt it... [His fingers tighten against Joshua's, a quick squeeze to draw them together. He still feels unsteady, and yet he can feel balance returning. The support will not heal everything, perhaps not even anything. But it will help Dion find his way to his own healing.]

And... I do not think I would mind hearing it so often.

I do not. Not a single bit.

[ Just to reiterate it. Joshua does not doubt Dion's feelings, just as he does not regret a single thing that has happened today. But if it is difficult for Dion to say so, he will simply wait patiently to hear it. Even if that day never comes in the end.

He returns the squeeze to his hand, settling back into his own space. But the smile that he gives Dion is a radiant one. How could it not be, while in the presence of someone so dear to him? ]

Then, it will be done.

[ He will make sure of it. ]

To ease your mind from complications, while we await the boiling of the water - I would hear of your favorites, of your hobbies and interests. You already have me at a disadvantage, after all.

[Any lingering doubt is burned away by the warmth from Joshua's smile. How could he ever lament, when faced with such a sunny disposition. Joshua so effortlessly seemed to draw the darkness of Dion's soul out and cast it away. He suspects that it's a blessing and a boon of Joshua's own making. Even without the Phoenix to guide him, he would still be this radiant.]

Thank you, Joshua. For everything.

[If his words seem stiff, it's only because of the weight of the emotion that Joshua manages to invoke within him. He counts himself so terribly lucky for it, and yet he nearly finds himself crippled by the gratitude.

Thankfully, Joshua sees fit to change the subject. Not that it's particularly easier, mind you. It's been so long since he's allowed himself to indulge in the very things that made him happy.]

I quite enjoyed my studies in my youth. Not just because of how I felt it would help my father, either. There was much to be found in those pages outside of my own walls. [A pause. His mind travels back, thinking of Harpocrates. A memory of purple dislodges itself, and Dion finds himself growing thoughtful.]

I think... I also would not mind taking up gardening, either.

[ The words may be stiff, but Joshua pays no mind to it. Dion seems to be processing things, so it makes sense that his thoughts are a little scattered and not secured. Dion's hand gets a gentle squeeze in return. ]

Always.

[ Because it is a promise he knows he can keep. So long as he draws breath, he will remind Dion of his kindness, of his capacity to be loved.

But Dion moves along with the subject change, and Joshua's smile shifts to one of excitement. Hearing that Dion, too, enjoyed studying is quite the intriguing tidbit of information. ]

As did I. My health kept me indoors, so I turned to books and studies. It was so exciting to learn about places that felt so far away.

[ And without the Phoenix, he may not have grown to see any of them. He'd always heard the whispers - that he wasn't long for this world - so he has no doubts that the Phoenix's regenerative powers kept him from succumbing to childhood illnesses.

The mention of gardening makes him perk, though. A result of their planting just now, or...? ]

If Ydalir was able to give you seeds for treasure flowers, I'm certain that she could give us others. Wyvern tails, perhaps? Should you want them, of course.

[Likewise, Dion finds himself smiling through any other residual emotion. It doesn't surprise him that Joshua was a bookish boy — that much had been clear at the Remembrance Ceremony. And considering everything else that had followed, of course he would need to be well-read to stay ahead of whatever machinations Ultima had been up to.]

Indeed. Long though I knew I would one day be out in the world, I knew the context would not be the same. [His fond expression falters.] The cliffs of Ash, and the hills of storm would always be marred by war when I came upon them. It was nice to understand them as they were.

[Joshua has the right idea when it comes to Dion's fondness for planting. He averts his gaze, finding his fingers briefly tightening against Joshua's own before relaxing once more.]

I know that Wyvern Tails have cursed a great many. Their poison is a vicious one. But surely it may yet have its uses. And I suspect the savage cruelty of the woods will lend itself well to their natural beauty.

[The last thing he wants is the pristine, sanitized white of the Sanbrequois variant.]

[ Ah. Yes. Dion, unlike himself, was a soldier. He had learned the art of the sword, of course - but only after Phoenix Gate, after the Undying had helped him to train for self-defense. He can fight, but he is no fighter. Not in the same way Dion is. ]

My journey did not take me as far as Ash, not until I had reunited with Clive, but... I understand. It is something to read about how lush and vibrant a land is, only to see it in person years later, scarred by war and the Blight.

[ He can only hope that, if Clive's Wish came true, the land can heal. It could heal from war on its own, eventually, but not the Blight. That much has been proven. ]

Admittedly, it makes me wonder if their poison might be strong enough to damage that false thing in the forest. [ He frowns, softly, down at their joined hands. ] I do not doubt they would grow well here, but... if we might use them for good...

I only ever saw Ash from a vessel, but my presence was never particularly celebrated, even upon the seas.

[He exhales, shaking his head. It had been different then. He had chomped at the bit to be released upon Odin. A fight only meant the loss of foot soldiers in his eyes, nothing to truly shed a tear over. Surely they would have been happy to be lost in the crossfire of Bahamut's light.

Now, ever loss of life was embittering. Whatever man his father was shaping him to become, he did not want to be. Lucky, then, that he'd been set upon a different path.]

It is an effort I would not mind exploring. Better that we finally do good with the poison, than the ill that has been done to so many before.

[And isn't that just his standpoint overall, now.]

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